It takes courage to move forward.

A new friend and I were trying to figure out where to go for dinner. This would be the first time spending time together outside of our widow support group. This courageous woman joined my group soon after the sudden loss of her husband. She was coming up on her 30th birthday with an infant son at home.

"Do you like sushi?"

It seems like a simple question and yet it was another step in learning who I am after loss. What do I like? What am I willing to try? How have I changed?

"I don't know. Let's do it! Why not?" was my reply. Turns out I love sushi with tofu, avocado, tons of veggies wrapped in rice paper with the amazing cream cheese sauce! Who knew!

There have been so many "why not?" moments since Aaron died. So many moments of surprise as I find myself listening to jazz and read that book I wasn't sure I would like and am given the grace I need daily to take small steps of courage.

July 9, 2014 marked 18 months since Aaron died and Ben and I began our life after loss; learning what our new normal looks like. It seems appropriate to take time to recognize some of my small and large triumphs; to encourage you to acknowledge your daily triumphs, too.

1. Joined 3 groups without knowing a single person at any of them - Community Bible Study, MOPS, GriefShare - and meeting some of the most amazing women

My MOPS group threw a surprise birthday party for me!

2. Rented my first car and found it at the airport

Hello, free upgrade! Infinity G37!

3. Ran 13 races for families effected by cancer and organizations striving to link arms with those in crisis

Pure joy with my boy after my 13th and final race of my series!

4. Lead a widows' small group 8 months into my own widow walk and continuing to minister to these brave women
5. Share Ben's father with him every day

Ben loves to look at the photo boards from Aaron's visitations and hear stories about the pictures 

This is currently Ben favorite picture because Daddy is being silly with him. The love is so obvious!

6. Went on a date
7. Ran a marathon

4 hours and 33 minutes of running! 

8. Went to a Painting with a Twist class solo even after my entire group canceled at the last minute.

So much fun! Who knew I could paint?

9. Tried sushi

I had to take a picture to prove it actually happened! The middle kind was my favorite!

10. Chose to celebrate, not mourn, Aaron's Heaven day

11. Went to two weddings within 7 months of Aaron's death

So blessed that I didn't have to do these weddings alone!

12. Had family pictures taken of just Ben and me

I love this guy so much! Thank you, Sunbeam Photography for this beautiful gift!

13. Ran with Miles 2 Give in honor of our 7th anniversary

Truly a gift to know these amazing people!

14. Visited churches alone. I am so grateful for the wonderful people God has placed in my path as I visited!
15. Started my own Thirty-One business

16. Took Ben to the movie theater for Aaron's first birthday in Heaven

Isn't he the most handsome boy you've ever seen? He loved eating popcorn at 10:30 in the morning!

17. Sold Aaron's car and bought my first car

Good bye, Blue. You served us well. Hello, Shaunner!

18. Finding the blessings that God places in my life every single day, choosing joy in Him, and moving forward one step at a time!

I ran with Miles 2 Give!!!!

Ben in front of the Miles 2 Give RV - Life Elevated

Last year I followed Landon, Priest, and John as they ran from ocean to ocean. They stopped in Pittsburgh, had dinner with some fellow Sarcoma warriors, and toured Hillman Cancer Center where Aaron was treated. I couldn't believe they were right there taking pictures with people I knew! These three amazing men who suspended their lives for months to run across the country to bring attention, funds, and encouragement to Sarcoma warriors and their families. Amazing! You can donate, read their story, and reserve a day for your loved one here!

We met the Miles 2 Give team for lunch in Ann Arbor after one of their hospital tours. I was blown away by the care they took to focus on our conversation despite multiple text messages and e-mails beckoning from their phones for future events. The next thing I knew we were being invited to give miles and welcomed into the RV, Life Elevated, and my son was "driving" it! I stood in the door way trying to soak in my view as Ben made a straight dart to the driver's seat.

Ben and I on our way to the start spot where I started the night run!

I wrote Aaron's name on the ceiling after sharing our story with the team

Standing in Life Elevated is surreal. There are names and messages written over nearly every wall space, cabinet, and ceiling tile. Landon and the team have organized the signatures so that those they run for, those they give miles for are on a few special sections of ceiling tile. It is absolutely amazing.

Warrior paint applied

Ben is ready to give!

When the team gives miles they write the names of those they run for on their faces. This is a reminder of why they quit their jobs to run around the United States and live out of an RV. They shared in the heartache, beauty, and hope of our story. They cried with me, laughed with me, and encouraged me as I prepared to run 7 miles to give to Ben in memory of his dad and what would have been our 7 year wedding anniversary.

"Mom, I'm ready to rock and roll."

Ben and I with the M2G team

7 miles goal - 7 miles given!

To my Ben:

May a smile always cross your face at the mention of your daddy. May you always be a witness of the hope we have in Christ. May your heart always be tender to the joy and pain of others. You are a joy to my heart and purpose to my life. I thank God every day that He has blessed me as your mother because you have been made unique, with a purpose, and I have the privilege of being a part of the mighty things He is doing through you in this world. I pray you remember this day a day of strength, blessing, and love. I pray you remember this day as a visible reminder of God bringing about blessings through tragedy. I love you, Lil' B.